Freedom From Regret


When I think of regret I think of this statement that I think a lot of us has heard, which is something along the lines of  'I have no regrets because every decision I've ever made has led me to this point and I love where I am now'.  This is something we hear quite a bit and I think everyone has a different take on it.

I've definitely said something similar to this more or less in my life and I don't know why other people say it but I've said it because I come from a viewpoint that there is nothing you can do it now and there is no point of regretting because regret just wastes emotions and time and if there are things that I've regretted in my life, I try to look at it from an optimistic standpoint and be like 'What were the good things from that', 'What did I learn from that', 'What I've gotten to this point in my life if hadn't made that decision'. It's more to keep me sane because if you live a life of analyzing things that you've done in your past wrong, it could literally  just destroy you on the inside kind of like jealousy would if you let the regret consume you then it's just going to be a really negative experience.

People might say that to cope or to make themselves feel better about the decisions they made because I know that actually, no one thinks they're perfect and they've made the best decision that they could have in their life at any given time. I would say, generally speaking, I feel like the average person doesn't feel like 'I've made every best decision in my life that I could ever do and I have absolutely no regrets'.

Donald Trump is an example of somebody truly believing in everything that they say and really not having any remorse for the things that they've said in the past.

The valuable thing with regrets is that you can acknowledge the mistakes that you've made and have  remorse, not necessarily wallow in the things that you can go back and change but recognizing that maybe you did something really effed up and don't carry that on into your present life.

When I think about regrets in the past I always think of actions I've done that affected my life, I get reminded that I do have a lot of regrets where like I hurt people feelings or I was ignorant about something when I made a statement and there is definitely things in my life where I've been, okay that was a time in my life where I didn't really understand this concept or I was making comments or had a stance that really wasn't appropriate or okay and I would I definitely regret things like that but I don't regret in a way that I'm embarrassed or ashamed of who I was because you can only be the best version of yourself to the knowledge that you have. I regret but also I learned from it and now I'm not that person that I was or if I hurt someone feelings accidently or I was in a fight and I said something really mean or harsh to someone I care about, that's definitely something where I would say that is the only regrets that I have, when I caused other peoples pain when I think about regrets I think about the times that I have been a little bit or a lot of bit shitty.

Thinking about what I would do now in comparison to what I did then, those are really valuable experiences and not acknowleding those experiences is relinquishing responsibility for your actions which is not okay. We all have a responsibility in terms of our actions and even though we can't go back and change what we did at the very least, own up to it and acknowledge it. If you don't there are two different possibilities, 1. You're just somebody that doesn't have feelings and moves forward with your life and feels no remorse whatsoever, 2. You harbor deep shame and guilt and that builds up over time.

You can use the fear of regret to your advantage, it's a good thing to tap into especially if you're going through something like ending a relationship, thinking about that thoroughly. I don't experience so much FOMO socially but I definitely feel it with work in terms of getting opportunities and not necessarily having the time to do it all or if I actually don't want to do some of it, but then there are parts of it that I want to do so that's when the fear of regret works for me to my advantage because it forces me to get in touch with my intentions whether or not I like to move forward with something, it's been really valuable for me in terms of weeding through all the different things that I can do and then thinking about how that works with scheduling because sometimes I may want to do everything really and truly but it doesn't really fit in with scheduling and I have to relinquish the fact that I am committing to these things but I just have to let go of these things that I physically can't be there for.

Ultimately when it comes to regret it's about identifying and addressing anything that may not be dealt with, even though you can't go in the past and change things but identifying what it is that you may be feeling, shame or guilt over and figuring out how to relinquish that shame and guilt from yourself and then from there focus on things that you can actually control as you move forward, which are the things right now. In your present life.

16 comments:

  1. To be regretful is to acknowledge honestly that you are not a perfect person. You are subject to weaknesses in which your being couldn't sustain them. But to be positive or hopeful for things, having such attitude may be treated and everything would turn out to be well and good.

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    1. That's what I do too! I couldn't agree more of your thoughts here, sir. There are really times we can't take control of what we do or say and we end up regretting things. But anyhow, the important is that we learned from it. Besides, it had happened. What we can do is to be hopeful and to look forward to don't make the same mistake again.

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  2. You acknowledge mistakes and learn from them. You cannot help feeling regret sometimes but that is how we learn from life. You should not let your regret consume you. Move on with the lessons you learned from the mistake.

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  3. Acknowledge is more important than anything else. Learn from mistakes don't regret about them.
    Everything happens for a reason.
    Always believe that something Wonderful is about to happen.

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  4. That feeling of acknowledging our mistakes is a big move that we are doing things in a right way.

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  5. Regret can be both a good thing and a bad thing. It can mean you valued something that made you regret but the thing is to live with the lessons of regret.

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  6. regrets are something we all feel but what we did, it shaped us to who we are now

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  7. Totally amazing article! Keep doing it.

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