Introverts in an Extroverted World
Extroverts are people who get their energy from other people and when they are around other people it just makes them feel more alive, more awake, excited, they just kind of feel better overall and then introverts are people that the more people that are around them, the more activity, the more sensation that's going on it drains them, makes them more tired, can make them kinda grumpy or just overall feeling a little bit drained. A lot of times (not all the time) but I think this is pretty common with extroverts, they're usually very charming, charismatic, persuasive and introverts are tend to prefer to work alone, they maybe really like in their head thinking about things. Which I think goes back to the word 'introvert'. Introverts also tend to be really creative (not saying that extroverts can't or aren't), it's a different kind of creativity because of the introspection that happens with introverts.
You see a lot of extroverts being more performers, it's more like a they're lead singer or an actor (not there aren't introverted actors) but the classic theater person you see that's like really outgoing or really funny, they feed off the crowd basically. It doesn't mean that they're not creative and don't have amazing ideas. A lot of times people think that creative has to be that one thing, but it comes in so many different forms, some people are a lot more introspective and are contemplating as far as their creativity goes and other people are just very out there and pulling from the world and other people all the time.
I remember in school (sometimes) our desks were set up in little clusters, like usually 4 to 6 people in a little cluster and we were all grouped together facing each other. It was awesome when you are with your friends and you got along with everybody but it really sucked when you are at the same desk with a bully or you just wanted your own space to be able to do your work. Even individual projects and assignments would turn into a group project because you’re around people, even if you are not involved in a conversation, other people might be collaborating and then that is distracting from your train of thought.
That also continues into people professional lives too, especially in the tech world and start-ups, the communal office spaces become really popular because they want collaboration which I think it’s awesome but also I noticed in a lot of this spaces there is no space for anyone to have a personal space so everyone has to take a phone call in the middle of this giant room. When you really pay attention you notice the world is built for extroverts, that is an extroverted environment.
People should have options for sure, if you want to have a communal office or you should be given the option to have an office to yourself, because if you can’t perform on the same level with the people around you that’s going to affect your job, you shouldn’t be punished because you don’t want to work around other people. But in school is like you don’t have the option to be like ‘teacher I’m just gonna go work from home today’, there needs to be some kind of rotation with the desk and changing the setup, maybe for half the school year it caters to extroverts and like teamwork, collaboration and other half of the school year everybody kind of gets more personal space.
Even at a young age we are kind of taught that being extroverted is how you’re supposed to be because with class participation, “people who talk more get better grades” because the teacher feels like they are more involved where the introverted child can be paying attention just as much, doing their work just as hard but they’re not talking in class so they are not doing as good job as the kid who is naturally talkative. I don’t think that’s fair.
We live in a society that covets people who are charismatic, outgoing and are really great at articulating what they feel and think.
I think especially in the last 150 years our world has become a lot more louder, before than the world was pretty quite so even the most theatrical people didn’t compare to the noise that we have today, the constant stimulation that we have 24/7 even when we are in our own personal spaces. I do think that the world was quieter and people really valued contemplation, not that we don’t value it today but it’s very different especially in the western society where we constantly hear over our lifetimes ‘action speak louder than words’.
That’s not necessarily true, I understand the sentiment of that statement, don’t just say something you are gonna do and then not do it, but I think that there is a time and place for action because you could do something and it could totally just blow up in your face because you haven’t thought it through and maybe we’re little bit too impulsive and I think that contemplation is something that kind of gets swept under the rug and I do think that words are powerful, words themselves just speaking or thinking especially in todays world where words are everywhere, especially online and how much those words affect people. Whole ‘action speak louder than words’ is changing in todays world because words are really loud and words are the first step in creating any kind of change, words happen first before action.
In the last five years it’s been like the rise of the introverts, whether is books coming out or tons and tons of articles online just coming out, because I feel like there is a lot of introverts on the internet (obviously extroverts as well) including introvert writers and introverts that are starting to find a platform that works for them, where they can speak and they can express without having the need to speak in front of thousand people in a room or at a board meaning, they can say what they’re thinking through words. Introverts are getting more of a voice, ironically.
I find it really interesting when I meet someone online, I’ve seen someone posted an article and they seem just very loud in their writing which is so beautiful and then you meet them in person and they’re really quiet and just the complete opposite of what would you expect from their writing but I also find that really beautiful too because their voice has this noise and this liveliness and it’s coming from this person that to the rest of the world seems like they may not care, they may be bored but they are really inside of their head thinking of all of this amazing things.
People a lot of times confuse introversion with being shy, when they’re actually two separate things and a lot of times they do happen together but shyness is the fear of judgement from other people, introversion goes back to ‘energy’ and I definitely have my moments of shyness, if I don’t know people and I’m in a huge crowd, I’m super shy and quiet.
We need a balance of extroversion and introversion and it’s something that we crave whether is self-conscious or unconscious even the most outgoing person is going to want at least one friend that they can go to, to be more little bit quiet, that’s gonna balance them out.
It’s really intimidating and scary for me and I’m also awful at small talk, if you throw a deeper topic at me let’s go at it, let’s talk about it but normally not how conversation starts and I don’t want to say I’m bored but I find my mind wondering and I don’t want that to happen when I’m in a conversation with somebody, so I would rather not have the conversation happen.
I like when people ask like a specific conversation or specific question or just jump right into a story.
Extroverts are able to understand my perspective to some point, there is this wall that happens and I’m completely able to understand why an outgoing extrovert is going to do the things that they do, need the things that they need but I’ve noticed the frustration with extroverts towards me because it’s like they are understanding to some point and I’m like ‘just go little bit further, come on!’.
For me it goes to ‘Why are you quiet?’, ‘Are you listening?’, ‘Do you even care?’ and I do care and I do listen to what are you saying and I just need a little bit of quiet space to figure out where I am right now, because I’m somebody that contemplates and then I conversate as oppose to talking every second until I get to where I need to go and I think both ways of processing and getting through something are valid.
I just want a little bit of understanding sometimes, my tolerance level is really high but when I brake, I loose it.
Are you extroverted or introverted? Any opinion is welcomed in the comments below.