Introverts in an Extroverted World


Extroverts are people who get their energy from other people and when they are around other people it just makes them feel more alive, more awake, excited, they just kind of feel better overall and then introverts are people that the more people that are around them, the more activity, the more sensation that's going on it drains them, makes them more tired, can make them kinda grumpy or just overall feeling a little bit drained. A lot of times (not all the time) but I think this is pretty common with extroverts, they're usually very charming, charismatic, persuasive and introverts are tend to prefer to work alone, they maybe really like in their head thinking about things. Which I think goes back to the word 'introvert'. Introverts also tend to be really creative (not saying that extroverts can't or aren't), it's a different kind of creativity because of the introspection that happens with introverts.

You see a lot of extroverts being more performers, it's more like a they're lead singer or an actor (not there aren't introverted actors) but the classic theater person you see that's like really outgoing or really funny, they feed off the crowd basically. It doesn't mean that they're not creative and don't have amazing ideas. A lot of times people think that creative has to be that one thing, but it comes in so many different forms, some people are a lot more introspective and are contemplating as far as their creativity goes and other people are just very out there and pulling from the world and other people all the time.

I remember in school (sometimes) our desks were set up in little clusters, like usually 4 to 6 people in a little cluster and we were all grouped together facing each other. It was awesome when you are with your friends and you got along with everybody but it really sucked when you are at the same desk with a bully or you just wanted your own space to be able to do your work. Even individual projects and assignments would turn into a group project because you’re around people, even if you are not involved in a conversation, other people might be collaborating and then that is distracting from your train of thought.

That also continues into people professional lives too, especially in the tech world and start-ups, the communal office spaces become really popular because they want collaboration which I think it’s awesome but also I noticed in a lot of this spaces there is no space for anyone to have a personal space so everyone has to take a phone call in the middle of this giant room. When you really pay attention you notice the world is built for extroverts, that is an extroverted environment.

People should have options for sure, if you want to have a communal office or you should be given the option to have an office to yourself, because if you can’t perform on the same level with the people around you that’s going to affect your job, you shouldn’t be punished because you don’t want to work around other people. But in school is like you don’t have the option to be like ‘teacher I’m just gonna go work from home today’, there needs to be some kind of rotation with the desk and changing the setup, maybe for half the school year it caters to extroverts and like teamwork, collaboration and other half of the school year everybody kind of gets more personal space.


Even at a young age we are kind of taught that being extroverted is how you’re supposed to be because with class participation, “people who talk more get better grades” because the teacher feels like they are more involved where the introverted child can be paying attention just as much, doing their work just as hard but they’re not talking in class so they are not doing as good job as the kid who is naturally talkative. I don’t think that’s fair.

We live in a society that covets people who are charismatic, outgoing and are really great at articulating what they feel and think.

I think especially in the last 150 years our world has become a lot more louder, before than the world was pretty quite so even the most theatrical people didn’t compare to the noise that we have today, the constant stimulation that we have 24/7 even when we are in our own personal spaces. I do think that the world was quieter and people really valued contemplation, not that we don’t value it today but it’s very different especially in the western society where we constantly hear over our lifetimes ‘action speak louder than words’.

That’s not necessarily true, I understand the sentiment of that statement, don’t just say something you are gonna do and then not do it, but I think that there is a time and place for action because you could do something and it could totally just blow up in your face because you haven’t thought it through and maybe we’re little bit too impulsive and I think that contemplation is something that kind of gets swept under the rug and I do think that words are powerful, words themselves just speaking or thinking especially in todays world where words are everywhere, especially online and how much those words affect people. Whole ‘action speak louder than words’ is changing in todays world because words are really loud and words are the first step in creating any kind of change, words happen first before action.

In the last five years it’s been like the rise of the introverts, whether is books coming out or tons and tons of articles online just coming out, because I feel like there is a lot of introverts on the internet (obviously extroverts as well) including introvert writers and introverts that are starting to find a platform that works for them, where they can speak and they can express without having the need to speak in front of thousand people in a room or at a board meaning, they can say what they’re thinking through words. Introverts are getting more of a voice, ironically.

I find it really interesting when I meet someone online, I’ve seen someone posted an article and they seem just very loud in their writing which is so beautiful and then you meet them in person and they’re really quiet and just the complete opposite of what would you expect from their writing but I also find that really beautiful too because their voice has this noise and this liveliness and it’s coming from this person that to the rest of the world seems like they may not care, they may be bored but they are really inside of their head thinking of all of this amazing things.

People a lot of times confuse introversion with being shy, when they’re actually two separate things and a lot of times they do happen together but shyness is the fear of judgement from other people, introversion goes back to ‘energy’ and I definitely have my moments of shyness, if I don’t know people and I’m in a huge crowd, I’m super shy and quiet.

We need a balance of extroversion and introversion and it’s something that we crave whether is self-conscious or unconscious even the most outgoing person is going to want at least one friend that they can go to, to be more little bit quiet, that’s gonna balance them out. 


It’s really intimidating and scary for me and I’m also awful at small talk, if you throw a deeper topic at me let’s go at it, let’s talk about it but normally not how conversation starts and I don’t want to say I’m bored but I find my mind wondering and I don’t want that to happen when I’m in a conversation with somebody, so I would rather not have the conversation happen.

I like when people ask like a specific conversation or specific question or just jump right into a story.

Extroverts are able to understand my perspective to some point, there is this wall that happens and I’m completely able to understand why an outgoing extrovert is going to do the things that they do, need the things that they need but I’ve noticed the frustration with extroverts towards me because it’s like they are understanding to some point and I’m like ‘just go little bit further, come on!’.

For me it goes to ‘Why are you quiet?’, ‘Are you listening?’, ‘Do you even care?’ and I do care and I do listen to what are you saying and I just need a little bit of quiet space to figure out where I am right now, because I’m somebody that contemplates and then I conversate as oppose to talking every second until I get to where I need to go and I think both ways of processing and getting through something are valid.

I just want a little bit of understanding sometimes, my tolerance level is really high but when I brake, I loose it.

Are you extroverted or introverted? Any opinion is welcomed in the comments below.

59 comments:

  1. I can relate so much. Being with people exhausts me and I usually need a day or two to recollect myself after socialising for too long

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  2. I can be both at different stages, sometimes I become an extrovert to try and make me feel more confident and at other times I can be introverted when like you I don't know m place and there is too many people around me.

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  3. This is the story of my life. Always want to be invited somewhere, but don't really want to go. I just want to be included. I have come to realize that I am horrible at the initial 'small talk' in getting acquainted with others. yes, truly an 'Introvert in an Extrovert world. Thanks for sharing

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  4. I am an introvert, without a doubt. It's interesting because I was having a similar conversation with a friend of mine the other day. It does have to do with energy, and nothing about being shy. We need more time on our own to gather our energy, then we release that energy when we are around others, which, yes, it's exhausting at times, but not necessarily bad in my opinion. Also, I am incapable of small talk as well. I dread it. Either I have something to say, or I don't. This is why it's easier for me to interact to people who are closer to me, less exhausting, easier, more comfortable.

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    1. Same here! I'm introverted. Thank you a lot for the good comment!

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  5. "We become what we think about all day long." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
    I believe that we can change and become whomever we like. I always want to improve myself in all areas.
    "The environment is everything that isn't me." - Albert Einstein
    A lot of people who think they are introverts, when in fact they're just extroverts when environment changes...
    I just want to say, a great title and very interesting article! Well done! Have a nice new week!

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    1. I love the quotes so much! At the perfect time you wrote :)

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  6. Your qoutes are awesome. It's true is as if everything is made with the extroverts in mind. My question is do the introverts participate in making of everything for extroverts?

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    1. Thanks! I don't know the answer to your question :)

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  7. Your qoutes are awesome. It's true is as if everything is made with the extroverts in mind. My question is do the introverts participate in making of everything for extroverts?

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    1. Thanks! I don't know the answer to your question :)

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  8. I loved this article! Your writing is great! I am introvert, too and I am far away from shy. I even have a lot of social skills so people mostly think I am an extrovert! But the truth is I just need to have enough time for myself to charge the batteries so I can interact with other people and be opened to them.

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    1. Awesome :) Thanks a lot Helena!

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    2. I do find this article interesting too:)! I am more of an introvert... although sometimes i will get really excited when i try to get sociable, but sometimes i would be so awkward that i become less approachable..haha. Some of my more outgoing friends thought that they would need a lot of time to know me well...but actually it's not that hard after long...haha.

      Great writing:)

      Kiobe

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  9. i am an introvert and i'm super socially anxious but once i get to know people i can be like the loudest and most outgoing person ever but that initial getting to know people faze is the worst for me.

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  10. Your post is awesome, I am very shy around people I don't know. Keep up the good work. :)
    Http://mariesbeauties.co.uk

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  11. Yes this is so true. I'm more of an extrovert person and some times I can really feel like I'm doing something wrong when an introvert person doesn't follow my expectations in their response. However that doesn't always mean it's a bad response. We are just different :) xo Sabine
    www.sofarsosabine.com

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    1. Very true, thanks for your comment :)

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  12. I don't know if I'm extrovert or not ( I think yes). By the way I am very much attracted by people who have something to communicate, by those who have interests and opionion to share. No need to be laud or too much takltive. Inttrovert people can be very interesting if they have ideas to share

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    1. Yep, I agree everyone has something good to say :)

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  13. You're so right - it takes balance and each of us needs to try and understand the other.

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  14. You are definitely right about people becoming louder and louder. Here in Norway it is quite different the kids are taught to be more introverted, closed off. In some aspects I agree with this point of view but in other aspects I hate because our two kiddos were never shy and I hate that they are now becoming more shy and closed off. Each view has positives and negatives I guess we all need to work to find the middle ground.

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    1. It's totally okay for them to be shy, don't worry. Not a big deal :)

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  15. I'm an introvert as well and it's so annoying how people always expect me to be more outgoing when I just can't. I'm not able. However, most of the time, I only need a few hours and if everything is ok I get so comfortable with a new person that I get very loud, talk about everything and oh man, just great. Until something awkward happens. Lol.

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  16. I almost write the same topic, but you've said it all perfectly ��. Life is about balancing. Extrovert balance the introvert and the introvert balance the extrovert, as long as we find the ground in the middle to understand each character.

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    1. I'm waiting for your post! Would love to read it :)

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  17. I was an introvert as a kid but when I grew up and went to college, it completely transformed my personality. I am extrovert and I feel myself alive among other people! :)

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  18. I think I am an ambivert. I do well socially and individually, I love interacting with people and team working, but sometimes I need time and space to process things on my own, as you said "I just need a little bit of quiet space to figure out where I am right now!” ;-)

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    1. Yes! There are more like you out there :)

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  19. I have always seen that extroverts are more welcomed as they mix up and make friends easily but introverts do take their time. I have both kinda friends I they both are awesome in their own way 😊

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  20. I think it's great that even introverts are able to express themselves online now. I'm probably more of an introvert.

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  21. I think you are right. There has been a rise of introverts, but maybe that is because extroverts have been telling their stories for so long.

    Everyone needs a bit of time alone and it is great that you understand who you are and what makes you tick!

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  22. So true where you mentioned that internet is a great platform for introverts to express themselves, in so many ways, even to an extent that they are so different from what they are in real lives - probably also because they aspire to be like a character from their online presence but their nature and personality prevents them from being so.
    xx, Kusum | www.sveeteskapes.com

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  23. I'm an introvert as well, unfortunately :/ Maybe that's why the internet is a good place for me for interacting with other people.

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    1. It's not unfortunately, it's not a bad thing to be introverted :)

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  24. Many times I've been thinking about whether I'd go for the introvert or extrovert category. I think I have different periods when my mood and behavior changes.
    Sometimes I want to be out all the time, meet new people, talk to everyone, do things... then it's followed by a few quiet weeks when I get along with my work and I shy away from all the city fuss.
    Very interesting article that made me think about so many aspects. Great read!

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  25. I'm only in between but more of introverted. I used to think that shyness = introvert but after reading books about the topic as well, I came to realize that they are two different things.

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  26. I LOVE THIS ARTICLE! I saw the title and I thought 'this one's really for me'. I'm an introvert myself. And I kinda roll my eyes at those people who claim they are introverts, when they clearly are not. I can really relate myself with this post. And I remembered Susan Cain when I read it.

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  27. I've always felt confused whether or not I was an introvert or an extrovert cause I felt like I didn't completely belong in either side. Such a great read! :)

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  28. Introverts or extroverts... Still will find the way to deal with the world... Hmm.. Great sharing!

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  29. Introvert/extrovert it depend on my mood. Really im weird there are times i just wanna be alone and sometimes i wanna be carefree and travel too often and be with a group of friends

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