Empowerment or Objectification

Fun fact about the dark ages, it was believed to be true that people who were on their period would ruin food if they touched food or tried to cook, so they weren't allowed to cook food. Isn't that crazy? Women are good as anyone else, they deserve opportunities like anyone else and their thoughts are just as good as anyone else. I am raised in a Christian household, and it's told that the man is the head of the household and a woman shouldn't overpower him. That was still kinda in my head a little bit even though it never worked for me and I never thought like that no matter how much people were saying that, like NO. I'm going to do whatever I want.

I grew up in an area where feminism it's really unknown term, and I heard that it had a negative connotation in some countries. Someone imagines like a crowd of angry women, but what's wrong with a crowd with angry women when they are totally valid with their anger, women are even taught not to express their anger and that angry woman is a bad thing. When in fact anger signifies a change that needs to be made. And yeah women should be angry because there are changes that need to happen. And people in general when there is discrimination happening they should be angry because the change needs to happen and move forward. This thought randomly came to me because I was thinking what feminism means to me. For me, feminism means striving for quality and ending discrimination not perpetuating amongst ourselves.

If you don't know what happened on Twitter with Kim Kardashian and Chloe Moretz, basically, it sparked so much conversation both in real life and online, there were articles written about it and it's something that happened fairly recently. Kim posted a nude selfie on her Twitter account and Chloe Moretz replied saying she should be focused on teaching girls that women are more than sexual objects and Bette Midler also chimed in on Kim posting her nude selfie and to clarify she censored her breasts and vagina. So it was implied that she was naked but there were black bars over her. I don't see why it has to be such a big deal and I don't really care, and if she wants to post then she should post whatever she want to. But what I'm going to understand why it is a big deal because objectifying and feminism and all these words that are getting thrown out because she posted this picture and even slut-shaming has been a big part of the conversation.

It's so frustrating that even has to be a thing, why she can't just post this picture and people to be oh, okay just a nude. There are swimsuit models that post pictures in swimsuits in magazines that people look at or on the Internet, and their swimsuits are basically showing the exact same thing that the picture is. If she didn't had bars on it, okay then maybe I see all these conversations because that's little more exposure. Also, my thinking is if you feel comfortable showing your naked body, show it. I think that the main components of this argument are the people who are on one side really fighting for the end of objectification of bodies and then on the other side it's the slut-shaming and I really think that I fall somewhere in the middle of that.

If you are not familiar with what slut-shaming is, it is the act of criticizing a woman for her presume to sexual activity or for behaving in ways that presume sexual activity. So you see a woman wearing like a bandeau top and short tight skirt and you presume that she is promiscuous. But I think those are really the two components and then from there it goes to, okay like where is the line between objectification and empowerment. It's difficult, I understand both sides and I've also noticed the women shaming other women being this theme that they kind off see in public spectrum and it's happening even in private lives whether consciously or unconsciously but it's definitely there, and it's there because there is a fight for equality, there are difficult conversations and everybody it's fighting for what they believe in but I think that can fall under the umbrella of letting people do what they want to do with their body and you can still stand for not objectifying bodies but still support. You don't have to stand behind someone a be like „I'm your biggest fan!“ but I think it's important to at very least understand what's happening and to not place judgment on people when you're making assumptions.

I think unless somebody is doing it to be malicious, like if somebody was like 'I'm posting this naked picture of myself because I'm so hot and you are ugly'. One being mean and two being malicious and hurtful towards people I think that's totally different because of the intention is different, if you feel comfortable showing your body: be naked, do what you want. It's your body, you should be able to do whatever you want and feel comfortable doing it.

I think Kim's response to these comments that she was receiving definitely could've been different because she responded with snark and sarcasm and also being mean. There is always a way to respond with kindness especially if you are like 'This is my body, I'm proud of it, I'm posting it', there is a different way to respond there. She called Chloe Moretz 'an actress nobody knows about' or something like that.
There are things happening on both ends and Chloe is trying to stand up against the really narrow beauty standards facing girls and women today and even though Chloe said she didn't consider what she said as slut-shaming, she was also publicly patronizing another woman for how she behaves.

I think what's dangerous about believing everything that you think is that you at some point end up on a self rageous mountain and that can be a really dangerous place to be even if your intentions are for the best because you're placing judgment on whole other crowd of people. You are trying to release the lid of judgment on another group of people and I think that's why it's so important to me that my definition of feminism is about equality and ending discrimination. Because all of this falls under the umbrella of discrimination and judging people.

There are multiple ways in which this could've played out differently but no one is ever going to be the perfect feminist icon and the best that we can do is to continue to ask ourselves 'why?' and to try to understand the world and people around us better and continue to fight for equality. So I think that this is also really interesting because there is a lot of movement happening in like the sex-positive, think positive space where women are really trying to redefine the judgment around their bodies and there is porn being made by women who want to be having sex on camera and this is something that they like to do and the figured out a way to create porn that they are comfortable with making, because I think a lot of this conversation is you know, slut-shaming, it usually ends up somewhere in like the 'sex worker space' and I think what's dangerous about the porn industry is we would think of it just right of the top of our head is that even though there are women in the space that want to be doing what they're doing, the people around them are not treating them with respect or not treating them equally and so these women are now creating their own spaces where they can still do what they want to do, they can put their bodies out there in the way that they want to.

It kinda goes back to just like when there is a girl that's really sexual in environment, she's slut. She is the one that shouldn't be respected, but if a guy is really sexual he get's high-fived. And guys are, you know people who watch porn and these women are really coveted in the porn industry but if you met someone that looked exactly that same in real life she will be called a slut and even people who are porn stars are called sluts and it really comes down to whether that person wants to be doing it, if it's their choice to be doing it because it's genuinely something that they want to do or a way the want to make money. It's their body and it's their choice but I think there are also ways in which the environment that they are working in can be a lot better, more equal and more respectful.
That goes into how women have been socialized to be ashamed of their sexual desires. I think there are probably people who just genuinely don't feel comfortable having like open conversation about sex but I there shouldn't be judgment placed on people who want to be really open and want to wear tight skirts and like a bra top, that's totally fine and it doesn't mean that you are asking to be sexually assaulted, it doesn't mean that you are asking to be cat called, it doesn't mean that you are asking to be treated with disrespect.

To kinda sum all of this up I think a lot of this conversation revolves around what's feminist, what's not feminist but what I really think it's feminist is striving for quality, moving forward, no one is going to be perfect and listen to what other people have to say.


  1. First, let me applaud for you to write such a prudent article on such a sensitive subject.
    It's distressing to see girls and women suffering due to the prevalent myths and superstitions regarding every little thing in their lives. Menstruation, marriage, child-birth and what not. And what saddens me the most to see that the women themselves become the loyal troops of the patriarchal society to ensure compliance. So deeply entrenched are the gender stereotypes and prejudices in our society.
    I'm a Feminist for sure, but no radical feminist I'm. I belong to the liberal school of thought where the genders have equal respect and regard for each other as individuals.
    I write on subjects similar to this. I'd appreciate if you give them a read too. http://www.thethinkinglounge.com/dear-patriarchs/

    1. Thank you! I will check out your blog, seems like a good one.

  2. Totally agree that the likes of Kim K (I'm not a fan to clarify) can do what she wants. Because frankly, who cares? As for feminism, yes, it's now thrown around like a joke. Feminism isn't anger, feminism is women standing up for the rights of other women who don't necessarily have the same rights. It shouldn't even be a thing. Equality should be a fact. So I agre with Ratisha above, good on you for writing about something so controversial!

  3. I completely agree with the points you've raised. People should be able to express themselves freely, without fear of judgement or stigma.


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